Exercising My Fat Fingers

Been sleeping and getting up late since semester break began. Guess all it takes is just one day to kick start this habit of mine, again. So here comes the days where I destroy my biological clock, and hmm … gain weight. Well I used to be petite, that once I even thought that I was down with cancer. Gosh. I had this very sick look, coupled with evident cheek bones that made me looked … like a sickling (so I was told by my lecturer).

Of course then I gained weight, unhealthily (thanked to my sleeping habit). Then again, I was told that I was looking really, really good with these few extra kilos. I miss my old petite shape though (I might looked nearly shapeless then, but hey I got to eat what I wanted to!) Well of course I still get to eat what I want now, but … I don’t know. I am getting tad worry off lately. You know Indians have these genes (so I have been told) that give them a pear-shaped body when they become plump. I can’t fathom myself looking like a ... pear?

Then again, eating has been my guilty pleasure. Being a Penangite doesn’t help much either, you literally only have a meal/day (‘cos you eat the whole day LOL). Also not to mention that when you have a Mum who cooks really good food at home and feed you like nobody’s business … oh well, you eat first, then suffer later! Oh also, having a boyfriend who looks much skinnier than you doesn’t help either! I tell you, you certainly do not want to look like a gas tong next to him, though he does weight more than I do … like 3 kilos more? LOL It wouldn’t be long before I catch up that weight of his! Gosh. Not your fault though, love. I still love you.

I always take my figure and face for granted. I don’t do make up, I don’t dress up well (well I do look presentable most of the time, except that few times when I went to town in the evening wearing my red polka-dots pajamas!) Then again, I couldn’t be bothered ‘cos I always think that my face will make it up. Well I don’t have a face that will launch a thousand ships (to my house), but I look somewhat presentable though. But of course there are times (or all the times) where I’d thought to myself – What a beautiful face you have there (this I said it to Mum, friends, and well … everyone too) and praise God for it (in my heart).

Sometimes, on days that I underdressed, I’d constantly tell myself – No worries, you have a sweet face to compensate for it (but again this happens almost every day) I love simplicity really – short pants and shirts and I am ready to go (don’t mind the hair). Hmm … simplicity is not the right word probably (maybe lazy is!), but I love to laze around like that you know – sitting cross-legged, with 2 chairs stacked onto each other, laugh, joke, listen to others etc.

I didn’t see this coming really – I never thought that I would become concern about my weight LOL. In fact I’d always be the one that give people that face when they said ‘I am going on diet’. Of course I won’t go on diet now, but I will start eating healthily (hmm … like eating more vegetables, take more fruits) and drink MORE water from ... tomorrow onwards! Go you...!!!

But hey, having said this, I still believe that one truly shines from inside, and not the other way round. How we look on the outside, is a mere side dish to me. Anytime, I’d still go for a person’s heart. What shines from the inside, will never be consumed by time, ever. Nonetheless, I do not condemn people who want to look good on the outside too. Tell me who doesn’t want to look for themselves and their loved ones aye?

Alright, this is boring really, but typing more helps to get rid the fats in my fingers at least LOL. So today I spoke to you. It felt somewhat … bittersweet. Well it was indeed refreshing that we finally could hear each other’s voice after a week. Not to mention, you really have this soothing kind of voice that could just put me to sleep. Not in a boring sense, but I don’t know … it is simply very pleasant to the ears.  I was feeling bitter ‘cos you were so, so far away from me, and I have been missing you since you left. I try hard not to count the days (which seems like centuries actually!) and constantly tell myself that this will pass. I yearn to be in your arms again.

I loved it too when I heard you laughing over the call. Isn’t it amazing when we come to think about it, that though we are thousand miles away from each other, but we still have that effect on each other? To be able to make each other laugh, missing one another, yearning for one another? It is simply so … wow. I miss you, it seems like it has been years since I last saw you.

You take good care of yourself alright? You are always in my mind and heart. I think about you a lot, I wish I could look after you now that you are down with flu and cough (I wasn’t joking when I said you need to tell them that you need a personal secretary!) Looking forward to the days where our paths will converge again. Till then, my love.

P/s I didn't know I could type this much for a quiet girl like me! This is ... odd.